The Number One Thing I’ve Learned in the Last 10 Years
There’s no doubt that my life has completely changed in the last decade. I’ve got divorced and re-married. I’ve gone from mum of one to mum of two. I’ve gone from (predominantly) a stay-at-home mum to a full-time coach and business owner. From riddled with health issues, to fit and healthy. From insecure and inconsistent to flourishing from high-performance habits. Here is the number one thing I learned during the biggest period of personal growth I've ever had.
You have set minimums and maximums for everything in your life.
Whether it’s money, success, love, or how much happiness you are allowed to have. You are setting these boundaries for yourself all the time and you will unconsciously and routinely stick to them. Ten years ago I had really low boundaries for how much scarcity was in my life and for how I was willing to be treated and this showed up consistently, in my marriage, in my finances, in my friendships, and in my relationship with myself. I was disrespected daily in my marriage, my finances were fragile, to say the least, friends would leave me behind without a word, and at one point I smoked 30 cigarettes a day and lived on a diet of super noodles and biscuits.
Needless to say, my health dwindled to the point that I needed three surgeries in six months, I spent nearly two years in and out of hospital and I ended up divorced not too long after. However the day I decided I was over being treated like sh*t and raised my own energetic minimums and maximums for respect, happiness, and stability. My life changed dramatically. I want you to take notice of what is showing up in your life consistently and really look at your minimum and maximum expectations for it. You may just find that the level of respect you are willing to accept or the minimum amount of money you are willing to live on is exactly how you are living right now.
The best bit
You can decide to change this at any time… At any moment…. To pretty much anything you are willing to believe you can have. But that’s the thing... You have to believe it.
And it's so much easier to believe in the sh*t -
It’s so much easier to believe you can settle for “less than" rather than expecting a life of “more than enough”. So make sure you work on how you can genuinely raise your minimums and authentically expand your maximums, into the ‘hard to believe’ stuff.
I say this with nothing but love - but fair warning this might sting a little.
You are entirely responsible for what you back yourself for. If your comfort zone is not being treated all that well but it’s better than the unknown. That’s your choice. You are choosing a very low maximum expectation for your life. Like setting the bar low and the ceiling only just above it. Decide to raise your minimums, speak up, take action. Make new decisions that set a different path in motion. Make space for new maximums to occur.
Say yes to possibility and opportunity with an open and optimistic heart. Pay attention to the betterment that starts to creep in all around you. Then move the threshold every time you hit a new maximum. But it starts today with your minimums. Take any area of your life and ask - What do I expect? What’s the least I am willing to accept? Then look at your life as it is now… How much of your life are you living at your minimum? Then change it. Raise it, increase it, and enforce it in your life every day. Because the better it gets the better it gets. It's only up and up and up from here.
