How I Met James (aka Husband Number 2)

I met James on January 15th, 2012. I was still married to my ex and I met him in a nightclub in Cardiff called Soda Bar. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I promise… I was in the final months of my marriage (we separated on March 25th that same year) and at the time James had just started dating one of my best friends.

On January 15th I met my friend and James at the club to celebrate another friend's birthday. My friend had been through a rough time with a previous relationship and I was so excited to meet James as I had high hopes that he would be a great match for my friend. He was great on paper, the same extended friend group, successful, outgoing, dressed well, big blue eyes, and an all-round nice guy too. The night we met, I liked him immediately but purely as the approving best friend. After all, my life was in a mess and I had much bigger stuff going on at home.

This story could take hours to properly tell but here’s a timeline of how James and I went from him dating my friend to him being the love of my life.

January 16th - February 5th, 2012 

James flies to Houston for work, Facebooked me to say it was nice to meet me and how much he likes my friend. Several excited messages get exchanged and he asks me to help him purchase a gift for my friend to give her when he gets back from the states. Ipads had just come out and I helped him choose a gorgeous Prada Ipad case for her.

February 5th - 13th

Now he’s back in the UK (and the gift was delightfully received) I helped James decide on his Valentine's plans.

February 14th 

My friend ends up spending Valentine's night at my house instead of with James, calling their dating to a halt saying she’s not ready and it doesn’t feel right with J. James is genuinely devastated and tells me so through a Facebook message. Also saying he hopes that we can still be friends even if he’s no longer dating my friend. 

March 17th (Mother's Day)

The straw that broke the back of my marriage. The day I decided I was done. Funnily enough, this was also the day James sent me a text to say happy mother's day as I was one of the only friends he knew who had children (love the timing).

March 25th 

Officially separated & my ex temporarily moved out. When I was done, I was done and it all happened pretty quickly from there. By the end of April, I was back at my mum's house. By the end of May, I was in my new rental home. James kept in touch on and off during this time, sending an encouraging text here and there.

He’d heard through friends that my marriage was over and offered moral support. He even asked me out for a coffee at one point to which I said no. But we continued to chat through messages  A few months later he asked again and I decided to meet him. I laid all my cards on the table and word vomited the following statements at him:

This can’t happen

It’s obvious there’s something between us

But there can’t be

My life is a mess

What about my friend?

I'm getting divorced

I have a child

You don't want to be with me 

I have so much baggage

I can’t have any more kids and you haven't had any

We could never go on a romantic holiday

Because I HAVE A CHILD.

And you dated my friend!

It was totally embarrassing to spew it all out to a guy who just wanted to meet for a coffee... But I couldn't NOT say it. He said,” this is not how I thought this would go.” I said “I’m sorry”. But….( lol)… It can't have even been two months later, we went on our first official date. He took me for lunch at a country pub. It was the best time I had in about three years lol.

18 months later 

January 2014 

Charlie and I moved in with James

April 2014

To our complete and utter surprise, we found out I was pregnant with miracle Maddie.

December 2014 

We moved house (to the house you see me in now) and Maddie was born two weeks later.

June 9th, 2017  

James proposed on a beach in Florida at sunset. (He didn't know at the time but James proposed on the same date that I married my ex-husband). Some people would be horrified about this but I see it as the most serendipitous timing. The sad memories of one life became the hopeful future of another.

And then…

March 16th, 2018 (We got married. Whoop!)

And before you all email me to ask… yes my friend and I are still friends. In fact, she was a bridesmaid at my wedding.